I could say because everything else has failed. Well, it has – kind of. Wicca, Paganism, ADF Druidry, Asatru, Celtic Polytheism have not been successful as a lifetime endeavor. Maybe these were only good in the short run and were supposed to fail. I was supposed to bang my head against the wall of these structures, trying to get in, trying to fit, trying to contribute, trying to make “tribe”.
Then I let go and stopped trying. I stopped pushing so hard, I stopped caring about how to get others to participate or contribute or to be interested. I stopped being the responsible person. Like instead of hosting the feast, I brought the cheese and crackers. Instead of planning the study groups, I just showed up, usually unprepared. It wasn’t that I stopped caring completely; I was exhausted. And hurt. And resentful.
Floating along, the strangest thing began to happen. Spending a good deal of time on the Internet, what began to show up was writings on building relationship with the land. With the land you’re on, with the land your ancestors came from, with the land your spiritual ancestors are, with the lands of the Otherworld. And they came from seemingly disparate areas – Dr. Martin Shaw, Sharon Blackie, Emma Restall-Orr. Lots came from the Dartmoor area of England. Also, the Heroine’s journey, but that’s not for this post series. There were little pokes from my memory (and some silly jokes from friends) about OBOD, AODA, BDO which set me searching again for these groups. Another